Rover 75 – The Relentless Pursuit of Bad Taste

From the Potato’s Sack

As far back as late 1994, Rover’s designers had all but settled on the final look for the firm’s new flagship model.  A retro-inspired design that some would say was intended to court controversy with it’s combination of cutting-edge technology and classic design cues.

A late styling proposal (picture courtesy of ARonline)

OK, so we all know that side of the story, however, at no point during the endless design meetings and focus group sessions that no doubt took place, did those talented Rover Group folk account for the proportion of future owners that would be devoid of taste to such an extent, their cars would end up looking like they had ram-raided a tacky shop owned by some straggly-haired vegetarian specialising in wind-chimes and health crystals.

A ruined 75 famous in Magpie circles belonging to stick-on-tat-moron ‘Windrush’

For reasons no one can quite work out, anyone who now owns a 75, is over-come by the all-engrossing desire to stick anything from plastic wood, plastic chrome, extra badges and even chrome wheel embellishers on top of alloy wheels, to these once fine vehicles.

A particularly eye-watering example – Note; imbecile owner not in shot.

Indeed, on the Rover 75 & ZT owners club website, a topic regarding ‘walnut*’ accessories runs to 138 pages.

It is done in such a hap-hazard, nonsensical manner, one can only assume these imbeciles are either in the final stages of dementia, are suffering from a traumatic childhood experience that has clouded their judgement so poorly that nothing makes sense any longer or they are simply motoring arseholes.

I love the R40 and always have, yet I would gladly see these utterly RUINED specimens sent to the crusher rather than prolong their indignity any further – ideally with their owner still sat in the fake-wood festooned flea-pits.

 

As we so often end up saying;

WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG?

7 thoughts on “Rover 75 – The Relentless Pursuit of Bad Taste”

  1. Stick on tat moron? He’s got car club and vintage aa and rac badges on his car with a chrome stripe on the contour line of its front bumper. Is the 75’s design so very fragile that such additions can ruin it?
    Yes the car had seen more modification than most but is that because of morons buying them or the original design firing people’s imagination. And who are you to complain anyway? Are you being forced at gunpoint to drive it?
    The most you can say is that modifications to the 75 are not to your taste, well don’t do any then. Get back in your standard car and drive off.
    If it makes these people happy, who cares?

    1. Moronic isn’t it Matthew? I’m ME to complain. Who are you to complain about me complaining? You’re not one of these IMBECILES too are you? OH MATTHEW

    2. There’s nothing wrong with fitting an AA or RAC badge to your car but what appears to be SEVEN badges, plus a showplate giving a FORUM USERNAME of all things, is all a bit much and deserves to be resoundingly mocked. No doubt the interior is be-decked with naff, stick on plastic wood too.

  2. It would hardly be possible to make the WANK-RETRO styling of the 75 look any worse would it?

    I do have to question the intelligence of restricting the airflow to the radiator on any car equiped with an K series though.

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