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CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR*
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CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR
Corolla saloon
29%
 29%  [ 7 ]
Prius
4%
 4%  [ 1 ]
Sward's a useless shitpiece
66%
 66%  [ 16 ]
Total Votes : 24

Author Message
Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 928

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Seriously though - how come itís in storage? Assumed youíd be using it this weather.


That was a fib for the purposes of a punchline. Although it is in the garage at the moment having its ancillaries belt replaced. At Porsche prices. Suffice to say, it's a fucking good job I've got another book coming out soon.

NOW STOP MAKING SMALL TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S CARS AND ENJOY YOUR FUCKING HOLIDAY YOU WEIRDO.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The old guy who does some driving for me has a 2006 Carrera4S and heís just had the clutch and belts done at the Main Dealer. Fucking eye-watering but worth it as no cunt will want to buy it if a garage like us with a decent reputation or even a Ďspecialistí has done it.
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Giles
DOING IT AGAIN FOR FUN AND PROFIT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 474

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chin up, Otter old chap. Maybe you'll sell enough of your next book to afford to insure all your cars.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 928

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Last I checked car insurance doesnít cover wear and tear of vital engine parts.
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1388
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nitrogen insurance might?
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ottertronic wrote:
Last I checked car insurance doesnít cover wear and tear of vital engine parts.


You should get some of STís magical gap insurance then. That stuff covers fucking EVERYTHING.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2072
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 12:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Ottertronic wrote:
Last I checked car insurance doesnít cover wear and tear of vital engine parts.


You should get some of STís magical gap insurance then. That stuff covers fucking EVERYTHING.


A 1.2 C4 PICASSO!!
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1388
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Who'd settle for anything less.
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JJ
ACTUAL FASCIST


Joined: 19 Nov 2018
Posts: 239

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I shall be buying a new car shortly. I will start a thread here as I intend to buy something genuinely awful.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2072
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A 1.2 C4 Picasso?
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 876
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JJ wrote:
I shall be buying a new car shortly. I will start a thread here as I intend to buy something genuinely awful.


MG GS.
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JJ
ACTUAL FASCIST


Joined: 19 Nov 2018
Posts: 239

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
A 1.2 C4 Picasso?


One of my SWARDING choices isn't far off that as it happens.
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 950

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A 1.2 C4 Picasso that stinks of dogshit?
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 876
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If someone else on here buys that kind of shite the forum should be closed.

There's a vacancy for a GHOUL MG piloting fucktard on here, however. If the GS does not appeal, the HS will be on sale by the end of the year. Maybe.
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GordonBennett
HARRY POTTER AND THE BAVARIAN SHITE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 265

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why not part exchange the ZT?
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2072
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BOB OR DEATH.

Everything else is strictly for SUCKERS.
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1173

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.

Everything else is strictly for SUCKERS.

Aye, its true.
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 342

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JJ wrote:
Seamaster wrote:
A 1.2 C4 Picasso?


One of my SWARDING choices isn't far off that as it happens.


A 1.2 C4 Picasso that makes a senseless, irritating whining noise?
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 950

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barry wrote:
Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.

Everything else is strictly for SUCKERS.

Aye, its true.


Now THIS is shirley justification for the OIRISH SPACK STOP.
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JLD
JLDEACON


Joined: 16 Nov 2018
Posts: 203

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 6:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.


As most of the drivers of Bob product around here are geriatrics, the two are closely related.
_________________
You're all bastards
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2072
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JLD wrote:
Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.


As most of the drivers of Bob product around here are geriatrics, the two are closely related.


Says the bloke whoís fucked off to a Portuguese resort.
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JLD
JLDEACON


Joined: 16 Nov 2018
Posts: 203

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
JLD wrote:
Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.


As most of the drivers of Bob product around here are geriatrics, the two are closely related.


Says the bloke whoís fucked off to a Portuguese resort.


Iíve only been to Portugal once, work conference In Lisbon around 12 years ago.

Is your dementia playing up again? Spacker.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2072
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JLD wrote:
Is your dementia playing up again?


YES.

And GOUT.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 11:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sales are not looking good for the Prius Stateside.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qDAphEzYAzM
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2072
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 7:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Theyíre a fraction of what they were here. Bob only expects to sell 1000 facelifted ones in the UK, apparently.

Look at HSD sales in total, though. The biggest reason for fewer Prius sales is that Bob offers a hybrid option in almost every other model now. The Prius lost its USP years ago. But itís still the best, least compromised expression of hybrid motoring and probably always will be. Certainly until full EVs see it off altogether.

How are 1.2 C4 Picasso sales, ONE WONDERS?
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Spastic
DRIBBLING FUCKING IMBECILE


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 530
Location: In a home

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 8:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wonder if Hyundai Ioniq sales have hurt Pistro sales. Itís a similar shaped thing which has both full on hybrid, plug in hybrid like Bob, but also a pure EV Version. Styling looks much better too.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 12:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No single car has hurt the Pristro. Glenda is RITE but it stretches wider to other brands.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2072
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
No single car has hurt the Pristro. Glenda is RITE but it stretches wider to other brands.


If you wanted to pick one single car, the Auris (and latterly Corolla) Tourer has probably landed the biggest blow in the UK. In the provinces, if not in London, it's almost completely replaced the Pristro for the picking up of PISSED PORTERS.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Only for taxis. Iíd say there are loads responsible for the private/fleet sector. As son as Ďreal carsí were available with similar tech the Pristro was fucked. Deep.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2072
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Only for taxis. Iíd say there are loads responsible for the private/fleet sector. As son as Ďreal carsí were available with similar tech the Pristro was fucked. Deep.


Most of our ex-Pristro fleet drivers have gone for the C-HR/RAV4, so the head-shaking vogue for SUVs has also contributed to its demise. It's not just about the ubiquity of hybrid drivetrains now, it's about the abandonment of the large family car as a category.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And the fact you look like a taxi-ist in the Pristro.

Thereís nothing fashionable about that shite.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2072
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"The Prius isnít brilliant just because it makes a decent minicab. Itís also brilliant because it makes a decent minicab."

Not my words, Carole, THE WORDS OF EVO MAGAZINE.
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 876
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 3:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spastic wrote:
I wonder if Hyundai Ioniq sales have hurt Pistro sales. Itís a similar shaped thing which has both full on hybrid, plug in hybrid like Bob, but also a pure EV Version. Styling looks much better too.


I think you're right, I think it will also land a blow on the Auris/Corolla too. They're now the minicab of choice round here, picking up from the Bobs. Prius is now too ugly, the Corolla too expensive.

People who choose their cars as something more than a tool and a recepticle for puke, meanwhile, are no doubt taking the SUV and Lexus alternatives.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2072
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 3:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandie wrote:
People who choose their cars as something more than a tool and a recepticle for puke...


YARFP.
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Shergar
BILLERICAY THICKIE


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 293

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 10:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Derek wrote:
Eclectic Blue FTW


I spotted this Bob in Spittoís neck of the woods recently Derek, looked ace Cool


_________________
He rode me and left me for dead.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 10:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Itís certainly no Kermit Green.
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The Rabbi
GERMAN CANDLE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 457
Location: Bergen-Belsen

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 10:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't quite tell what it is in that picture... FROM HERE ON MARS.
POPPINS!
_________________
CUNTS.
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1173

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 10:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is the car really THAT big
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