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CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR*
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CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR
Corolla saloon
29%
 29%  [ 7 ]
Prius
4%
 4%  [ 1 ]
Sward's a useless shitpiece
66%
 66%  [ 16 ]
Total Votes : 24

Author Message
Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1146

PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm rather enjoying the look of the Legacy Outback myself
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1381
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you need the excel in red with a black roof
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2001
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 11:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would cheerfully order a top-spec Excel if I could downgrade to 16" alloys (as I could on my CT Luxury). But YOU CAN'T HELP ME, CAN YOU?

And I can't be doing with that daft black roof business either.
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GordonBennett
HARRY POTTER AND THE BAVARIAN SHITE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 262

PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 12:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Small wheels with high profile tyres are FTW. Even fleet/lease spec "D2" Volvos come with rubber band tyres now. What's the point?

Here, Seamaster, Benny Benjamin Benaldo Adams won't hear a word against those awful two tone paint jobs.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1164

PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 12:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And Benny knows.
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GordonBennett
HARRY POTTER AND THE BAVARIAN SHITE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 262

PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 12:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
And Benny knows.


Deemed overqualified to sell them, you know.
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1381
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 3:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The icon tech in red doesn't look bad. Need to see lease scheme prices at work, may yet get one for Mrs B.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2001
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, it would be nice if at least one member of the Bob household was prepared to back the home team.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1164

PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2019 7:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whats in Fenwick's window these days?
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2001
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Mon Feb 11, 2019 11:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

620bob wrote:
I think you need the excel in red with a black roof


Turns out it's a cliché already.

https://youtu.be/okIHHOY95Sg
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1381
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 5:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's playing on a continuous loop at the Assembly entrance.
I think the advertising Johnnies have watched the opening of the 1st Grand Tour once too often.
The car looks good though, and so it should as it was fettled to within an inch of its life.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2001
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

620bob wrote:
The car looks good though, and so it should as it was fettled to within an inch of its life.


As mine must be if you don't want me to MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 928

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 6:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

WAH WAH, ME WANT FREE CAR BETTER THAN PERFECT.

Would you like Bob to WIPE YOUR ARSE for you too?
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2001
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 6:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If he could, thanks.
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1381
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 6:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I seem to wipe everyone else's, one more won't matter!
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2001
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Frankly, you shouldn't be wiping it, you should KISSING IT.
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JLD
JLDEACON


Joined: 16 Nov 2018
Posts: 191

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ottertronic wrote:

Would you like Bob to WIPE YOUR ARSE for you too?


I have some 80 grit sandpaper that you could use.
_________________
You're all bastards
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1164

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I review around 8 people per day who claim to be unable to wipe their backsides.
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JLD
JLDEACON


Joined: 16 Nov 2018
Posts: 191

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do they all drone on and on about free cars they want to borrow?
_________________
You're all bastards
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1164

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 7:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, the fuckers do. Every single one of them.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 866

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
I review around 8 people per day who claim to be unable to wipe their backsides.


Lots of people in the Royal Family.
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1146

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
I review around 8 people per day who claim to be unable to wipe their backsides.

BRITAIN
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1164

PostPosted: Fri Feb 15, 2019 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It disgusts me Barry, it really does.
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 911

PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 12:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I speak for us all, Sward, when I say I'd be interested to read these reviews.
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1381
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 12:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
Frankly, you shouldn't be wiping it, you should KISSING IT.

Steady on, I have standards
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Giles
DOING IT AGAIN FOR FUN AND PROFIT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 462

PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 10:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

austin-towers wrote:
I think I speak for us all, Sward, when I say I'd be interested to read these reviews.


Wait. Is Sward's job reviewing dole scum's ability to wipe their own arses?

Isn't he overqualified?
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1146

PostPosted: Sat Feb 16, 2019 11:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
It disgusts me Barry, it really does.

What happens if they've huge hands like Special Neil's
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1381
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Tue Feb 19, 2019 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They could wipe their own AND someone else's
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1146

PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2019 9:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Neil's Med, NOW AVAILABLE ON THE NHS
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1164

PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2019 8:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

austin-towers wrote:
I think I speak for us all, Sward, when I say I'd be interested to read these reviews.


I printed a dozen out the other day to hand around the office at the hilarity of it all. I'm compiling a best of book.
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