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CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR*
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CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR
Corolla saloon
29%
 29%  [ 7 ]
Prius
4%
 4%  [ 1 ]
Sward's a useless shitpiece
66%
 66%  [ 16 ]
Total Votes : 24

Author Message
Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1987
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:19 pm    Post subject: CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR* Reply with quote

In A DEVIATION FROM DEMOCRACY TO SAVE A BUNCH OF FUCKWITS FROM THEMSELVES your answer(s) will almost certainly be disregarded, but HAVE AT IT:

1. Petrol <100g CO2
2. C-segment
3. Automatic
4. Adaptive cruise
5. Heated seats
6. CarPlay
7. Spare wheel (space saver acceptable, but no SHAVING FOAM)
8. Not an SUV
9. Not French, not Italian and definitely not a fucking Vauxhall
10. NOT SHITE


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The Rabbi
GERMAN CANDLE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 455
Location: Bergen-Belsen

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Prius.
_________________
CUNTS.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 921

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DE TOMASO PANTERA
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 844
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hyundai Ioniq or Skoda Octavia.

I'd also say Kia Niro but SUVs are OOT so...
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Derek
SAUCEBOX


Joined: 10 Nov 2018
Posts: 356
Location: Upside down

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Checker Marathon
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Spastic
DRIBBLING FUCKING IMBECILE


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 500
Location: In a home

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

11. SAUS
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 844
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've entered your requirements into a SUPERCOMPUTER and it has produced the following results:







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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 921

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MERCEDES UNIMOG
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GordonBennett
HARRY POTTER AND THE BAVARIAN SHITE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 261

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anything but bleedin' VAG. Even an A-Class is preferable.

Serious suggestion if Bob cannot deliver is a Civic. Presumably they have a handle on CO2 emissions and offer Car Play?
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Derek
SAUCEBOX


Joined: 10 Nov 2018
Posts: 356
Location: Upside down

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mustang EcoBoost
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1161

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The new* Civic looks have grown on me considerably.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1987
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

GordonBennett wrote:
An A-Class is preferable.


Lord Sward wrote:
The new* Civic looks have grown on me considerably.


CRACK KILLS.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 921

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

FSO POLONEZ
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Derek
SAUCEBOX


Joined: 10 Nov 2018
Posts: 356
Location: Upside down

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 7:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

B** 2-series Active Tourer
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 844
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
The new* Civic looks have grown on me considerably.


Aye, and it does meet all of Glenda's arbritary requirements. They even do a Saloon version.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1987
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am ruling out the Civic for the same reason I'm (sadly) ruling out the Prius: THAT IT'S FUCKING HIDEOUS.
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Spastic
DRIBBLING FUCKING IMBECILE


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 500
Location: In a home

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What about Mazda 3?

And why has nobody suggested the Mitsubishi Mirage yet? Sward swears by them.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1987
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spastic wrote:
What about Mazda 3?


Petrol auto is 129g/km CO2. RUINOUS.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1161

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mitsubishi Mirage CVT.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1987
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Mitsubishi Mirage Is the Worst New Car You Can Buy
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1161

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thats the old model.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1987
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Refer to requirement 10 above.
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JLD
JLDEACON


Joined: 16 Nov 2018
Posts: 190

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What about ‘whatever your boss tells you that you can borrow’.
_________________
You're all bastards
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 844
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
The Mitsubishi Mirage Is the Worst New Car You Can Buy


Fuck me, it's KERMIT.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1987
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JLD wrote:
What about ‘whatever your boss tells you that you can borrow’.


How's your ancient, badly crash-repaired, backwards Metro?
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 844
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JLD wrote:
What about ‘whatever your boss tells you that you can borrow’.


If his boss told him what to borrow it would save us all of this.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1161

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Of course, if he'd just join his colleagues in choosing a great british Ashtray, then both Cheshire and Swiss would be happy.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 921

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MORRIS 1000
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1987
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
Of course, if he'd just join his colleagues in choosing a great british Ashtray, then both Cheshire and Swiss would be happy.


9 and 10 apply.
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Derek
SAUCEBOX


Joined: 10 Nov 2018
Posts: 356
Location: Upside down

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A WEE LEXUS
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