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CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR*
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CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR
Corolla saloon
29%
 29%  [ 7 ]
Prius
4%
 4%  [ 1 ]
Sward's a useless shitpiece
66%
 66%  [ 16 ]
Total Votes : 24

Author Message
Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 922

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Targets are for those who need to try harder. Results are what counts.

Not that I expect you to understand, no sales figures for plagiarism and rehashing others words ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY, is there?


There are sales figures for books though, son. That's why I have a Porsche.
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 906

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's no CITYROVER though, is it?
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1128

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aye and messers Clarkson, May and Hammond to thank for that fucker too.

Those books must sell in some numbers once theyíre in the £2.50 or 5 for a tenner bin, to afford that so fair play.

Drive it much, do you?
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 922

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Aye and messes Clarkson, May and Hammond to thank for that fucker too.

Drive it much, do you?


About the same amount you bang your wife on holiday it seems. It's IN STORAGE.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1128

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ottertronic wrote:
MarkM wrote:
Aye and messes Clarkson, May and Hammond to thank for that fucker too.

Drive it much, do you?


About the same amount you bang your wife on holiday it seems. It's IN STORAGE.


Aye i think I speak for all of us if I say itíd be a different story if I was taking yours.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 922

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So what you're saying is you're poorer than me, and you have a less attractive wife? Well done Mary, you've MARYED YOURSELF.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1128

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Donít forget not as funny otter, go for the full set or donít bother at all.

Fucking amateur at times.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1128

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seriously though - how come itís in storage? Assumed youíd be using it this weather.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 922

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Daddy! Daddy! Can we go to the beach?"

"NO! I've got to take a picture of a shit old Freelander, bully a railway ticket office idiot and then argue with some other twats on a crap website about obsolete cars".
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1128

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just tell them Iím a gambling addict instead. Same end product but easier to explain.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 922

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Seriously though - how come itís in storage? Assumed youíd be using it this weather.


That was a fib for the purposes of a punchline. Although it is in the garage at the moment having its ancillaries belt replaced. At Porsche prices. Suffice to say, it's a fucking good job I've got another book coming out soon.

NOW STOP MAKING SMALL TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S CARS AND ENJOY YOUR FUCKING HOLIDAY YOU WEIRDO.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1128

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The old guy who does some driving for me has a 2006 Carrera4S and heís just had the clutch and belts done at the Main Dealer. Fucking eye-watering but worth it as no cunt will want to buy it if a garage like us with a decent reputation or even a Ďspecialistí has done it.
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Giles
DOING IT AGAIN FOR FUN AND PROFIT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 455

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chin up, Otter old chap. Maybe you'll sell enough of your next book to afford to insure all your cars.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 922

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Last I checked car insurance doesnít cover wear and tear of vital engine parts.
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1374
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nitrogen insurance might?
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1128

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ottertronic wrote:
Last I checked car insurance doesnít cover wear and tear of vital engine parts.


You should get some of STís magical gap insurance then. That stuff covers fucking EVERYTHING.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1988
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 12:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Ottertronic wrote:
Last I checked car insurance doesnít cover wear and tear of vital engine parts.


You should get some of STís magical gap insurance then. That stuff covers fucking EVERYTHING.


A 1.2 C4 PICASSO!!
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1374
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Who'd settle for anything less.
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JJ
ACTUAL FASCIST


Joined: 19 Nov 2018
Posts: 237

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I shall be buying a new car shortly. I will start a thread here as I intend to buy something genuinely awful.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1988
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A 1.2 C4 Picasso?
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 844
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JJ wrote:
I shall be buying a new car shortly. I will start a thread here as I intend to buy something genuinely awful.


MG GS.
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JJ
ACTUAL FASCIST


Joined: 19 Nov 2018
Posts: 237

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
A 1.2 C4 Picasso?


One of my SWARDING choices isn't far off that as it happens.
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 906

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A 1.2 C4 Picasso that stinks of dogshit?
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 844
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If someone else on here buys that kind of shite the forum should be closed.

There's a vacancy for a GHOUL MG piloting fucktard on here, however. If the GS does not appeal, the HS will be on sale by the end of the year. Maybe.
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GordonBennett
HARRY POTTER AND THE BAVARIAN SHITE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 261

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why not part exchange the ZT?
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 1988
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BOB OR DEATH.

Everything else is strictly for SUCKERS.
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1145

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.

Everything else is strictly for SUCKERS.

Aye, its true.
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 326

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JJ wrote:
Seamaster wrote:
A 1.2 C4 Picasso?


One of my SWARDING choices isn't far off that as it happens.


A 1.2 C4 Picasso that makes a senseless, irritating whining noise?
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 906

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barry wrote:
Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.

Everything else is strictly for SUCKERS.

Aye, its true.


Now THIS is shirley justification for the OIRISH SPACK STOP.
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JLD
JLDEACON


Joined: 16 Nov 2018
Posts: 190

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 6:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.


As most of the drivers of Bob product around here are geriatrics, the two are closely related.
_________________
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