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CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR*
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CHOOSE MY NEXT CAR
Corolla saloon
29%
 29%  [ 7 ]
Prius
4%
 4%  [ 1 ]
Sward's a useless shitpiece
66%
 66%  [ 16 ]
Total Votes : 24

Author Message
austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1127

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's no CITYROVER though, is it?
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1436

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aye and messers Clarkson, May and Hammond to thank for that fucker too.

Those books must sell in some numbers once they’re in the £2.50 or 5 for a tenner bin, to afford that so fair play.

Drive it much, do you?
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 1212

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Aye and messes Clarkson, May and Hammond to thank for that fucker too.

Drive it much, do you?


About the same amount you bang your wife on holiday it seems. It's IN STORAGE.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1436

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ottertronic wrote:
MarkM wrote:
Aye and messes Clarkson, May and Hammond to thank for that fucker too.

Drive it much, do you?


About the same amount you bang your wife on holiday it seems. It's IN STORAGE.


Aye i think I speak for all of us if I say it’d be a different story if I was taking yours.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 1212

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So what you're saying is you're poorer than me, and you have a less attractive wife? Well done Mary, you've MARYED YOURSELF.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1436

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don’t forget not as funny otter, go for the full set or don’t bother at all.

Fucking amateur at times.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1436

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seriously though - how come it’s in storage? Assumed you’d be using it this weather.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 1212

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Daddy! Daddy! Can we go to the beach?"

"NO! I've got to take a picture of a shit old Freelander, bully a railway ticket office idiot and then argue with some other twats on a crap website about obsolete cars".
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1436

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just tell them I’m a gambling addict instead. Same end product but easier to explain.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 1212

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Seriously though - how come it’s in storage? Assumed you’d be using it this weather.


That was a fib for the purposes of a punchline. Although it is in the garage at the moment having its ancillaries belt replaced. At Porsche prices. Suffice to say, it's a fucking good job I've got another book coming out soon.

NOW STOP MAKING SMALL TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S CARS AND ENJOY YOUR FUCKING HOLIDAY YOU WEIRDO.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1436

PostPosted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 10:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The old guy who does some driving for me has a 2006 Carrera4S and he’s just had the clutch and belts done at the Main Dealer. Fucking eye-watering but worth it as no cunt will want to buy it if a garage like us with a decent reputation or even a ‘specialist’ has done it.
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Giles
SUB RANDLE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 630

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chin up, Otter old chap. Maybe you'll sell enough of your next book to afford to insure all your cars.
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 1212

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Last I checked car insurance doesn’t cover wear and tear of vital engine parts.
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1623
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nitrogen insurance might?
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1436

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ottertronic wrote:
Last I checked car insurance doesn’t cover wear and tear of vital engine parts.


You should get some of ST’s magical gap insurance then. That stuff covers fucking EVERYTHING.
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2651
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 12:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Ottertronic wrote:
Last I checked car insurance doesn’t cover wear and tear of vital engine parts.


You should get some of ST’s magical gap insurance then. That stuff covers fucking EVERYTHING.


A 1.2 C4 PICASSO!!
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1623
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Who'd settle for anything less.
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JJ
ACTUAL FASCIST


Joined: 19 Nov 2018
Posts: 299

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I shall be buying a new car shortly. I will start a thread here as I intend to buy something genuinely awful.
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2651
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A 1.2 C4 Picasso?
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 1133
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JJ wrote:
I shall be buying a new car shortly. I will start a thread here as I intend to buy something genuinely awful.


MG GS.
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JJ
ACTUAL FASCIST


Joined: 19 Nov 2018
Posts: 299

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
A 1.2 C4 Picasso?


One of my SWARDING choices isn't far off that as it happens.
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1127

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A 1.2 C4 Picasso that stinks of dogshit?
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 1133
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If someone else on here buys that kind of shite the forum should be closed.

There's a vacancy for a GHOUL MG piloting fucktard on here, however. If the GS does not appeal, the HS will be on sale by the end of the year. Maybe.
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GordonBennett
HARRY POTTER AND THE BAVARIAN SHITE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 367

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why not part exchange the ZT?
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2651
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BOB OR DEATH.

Everything else is strictly for SUCKERS.
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1451

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.

Everything else is strictly for SUCKERS.

Aye, its true.
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 360

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

JJ wrote:
Seamaster wrote:
A 1.2 C4 Picasso?


One of my SWARDING choices isn't far off that as it happens.


A 1.2 C4 Picasso that makes a senseless, irritating whining noise?
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1127

PostPosted: Wed Aug 07, 2019 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barry wrote:
Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.

Everything else is strictly for SUCKERS.

Aye, its true.


Now THIS is shirley justification for the OIRISH SPACK STOP.
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JLD
JLDEACON


Joined: 16 Nov 2018
Posts: 276

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 6:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.


As most of the drivers of Bob product around here are geriatrics, the two are closely related.
_________________
You're all bastards
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2651
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JLD wrote:
Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.


As most of the drivers of Bob product around here are geriatrics, the two are closely related.


Says the bloke who’s fucked off to a Portuguese resort.
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JLD
JLDEACON


Joined: 16 Nov 2018
Posts: 276

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seamaster wrote:
JLD wrote:
Seamaster wrote:
BOB OR DEATH.


As most of the drivers of Bob product around here are geriatrics, the two are closely related.


Says the bloke who’s fucked off to a Portuguese resort.


I’ve only been to Portugal once, work conference In Lisbon around 12 years ago.

Is your dementia playing up again? Spacker.
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You're all bastards
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2651
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

JLD wrote:
Is your dementia playing up again?


YES.

And GOUT.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1163

PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2019 11:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sales are not looking good for the Prius Stateside.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qDAphEzYAzM
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2651
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 7:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

They’re a fraction of what they were here. Bob only expects to sell 1000 facelifted ones in the UK, apparently.

Look at HSD sales in total, though. The biggest reason for fewer Prius sales is that Bob offers a hybrid option in almost every other model now. The Prius lost its USP years ago. But it’s still the best, least compromised expression of hybrid motoring and probably always will be. Certainly until full EVs see it off altogether.

How are 1.2 C4 Picasso sales, ONE WONDERS?
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Spastic
DRIBBLING FUCKING IMBECILE


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 602
Location: In a home

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 8:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wonder if Hyundai Ioniq sales have hurt Pistro sales. It’s a similar shaped thing which has both full on hybrid, plug in hybrid like Bob, but also a pure EV Version. Styling looks much better too.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1436

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 12:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No single car has hurt the Pristro. Glenda is RITE but it stretches wider to other brands.
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2651
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
No single car has hurt the Pristro. Glenda is RITE but it stretches wider to other brands.


If you wanted to pick one single car, the Auris (and latterly Corolla) Tourer has probably landed the biggest blow in the UK. In the provinces, if not in London, it's almost completely replaced the Pristro for the picking up of PISSED PORTERS.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1436

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Only for taxis. I’d say there are loads responsible for the private/fleet sector. As son as ‘real cars’ were available with similar tech the Pristro was fucked. Deep.
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2651
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Only for taxis. I’d say there are loads responsible for the private/fleet sector. As son as ‘real cars’ were available with similar tech the Pristro was fucked. Deep.


Most of our ex-Pristro fleet drivers have gone for the C-HR/RAV4, so the head-shaking vogue for SUVs has also contributed to its demise. It's not just about the ubiquity of hybrid drivetrains now, it's about the abandonment of the large family car as a category.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1436

PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And the fact you look like a taxi-ist in the Pristro.

There’s nothing fashionable about that shite.
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