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TATAPOCALYPSE NOW: Deathclock at five minutes to midnight
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GordonBennett
HARRY POTTER AND THE BAVARIAN SHITE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 265

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
They look like motabilty cars. They are gutless, theyíre poorly made.


Are they gutless? The Meganne or similar C3 we hired in Nice presumably had a similar petrol engine which was actually really quite tractable.

Leaving aside the fact theyíre less saleable than the equivalent VAG product are they really any worse than any other MPV thing?

The wing mirrors are I am sure of poor quality mind.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes theyíre gutless. Theyíre strained in the 208 and Cactus, on their limit in a C4. Bad. The electrics are shite. Though out of embarrassment Iím sure weíll never hear from st.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2073
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The record shows he has a high tolerance threshold for SHITTERS.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1199

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If only the pioneers of the MPV race, Mitsubishi, still sold MPVs in the UK, there'd be none of this disappointment.
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 876
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A three cyclinder petrol in a seven seater. JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The insurance company loaned us a Peugeot 5008 for about a week while the settlement took place. It was a manual 1.2 Puretech petrol and initially I thought it was going to be a right dogs dinner of a car but odd dash and low steering wheel position aside the biggest disappointment was not the engine but the silly large wheels it used, over speed bumps and other large undulations the ride was harsh and jittery.
It was also manual which put me off the car, some simple/lazy design issues were apparent from a footrest seemingly taken from the auto version which was a bit too big and caused ones foot to hit it every time I changed gear to an over keen autonomous braking system.
But the PureTech unit turned out to be a real surprise, itís a great engine.
It revs keenly, produces a good amount of power and when pushed has a surprisingly nice exhaust note. Plus on a run to the coast it returned 50+ mpg easily.
We looked at the RAV4 (too small inside TBH), F Pace (too unreliable), Discovery Sport (didnít want derv) and the Galaxy (petrol autos too expensive), leaving really just the Shitroen, Seat Alhambra (VAG shite) or Sharan (VAG shite). Iíd love a Discovery but new 2021 ULEZ requirements meant new shape only so expensive and to be honest the thought of owning one and the sheer cost of maintaining it ruled it out anyway even if it was in budget.
The EAT8 gearbox is a nice unit, nothing like the slow automated manual in the pre-facelift ĎPicassoí versions, and with almost 140bhp itís not short on power.


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Spastic
DRIBBLING FUCKING IMBECILE


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 530
Location: In a home

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ignore them all, ST. If youíre happy with it then thatís all that matters.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No one really wants to own an MPV, but needs must!
At least the car is virtually all made in France and not some third world place like Turkey or India...
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thatís right ST, ignore all of us in the trade, listen to the crooked cuckold train conductor.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2073
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

marinast wrote:
On a run to the coast it returned 50+ mpg


I couldnít be doing with that.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1199

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The AdamsCart was raving about that engine over a pint (which naturally, I'd bought) in Geneva.

What happened to your Galaxy then? A drive-by?
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1173

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OH DEAR GOD HE'S DEFENDING THIS Laughing

Randle, you've got a THICK FRIEND
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1199

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barry wrote:


Randle, you've got a THICK FRIEND


Hows your collection of undriveable Renaults and Citroens?


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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just leave it barry. Between the 09 plate inherited Ibiza and the Leaf this wonky-cunt knows fuck-all.
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 876
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

marinast wrote:
At least the car is virtually all made in France and not some third world place like Turkey or India...


They're built in Spain, not France. And modern French cars have such a tremendous reputation for quality and reliability.

Still, let's not skim over the take-home point. After years of tyre-kicking even you've came to conclude that Tatuar are impossible to consider due to their levels of reliability. To the extent that a Shitroen is preferrable.
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 950

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

marinast wrote:
C4 Grand Spacetourer 1.2 auto.


KILL YOURSELF.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
The AdamsCart was raving about that engine over a pint (which naturally, I'd bought) in Geneva.

What happened to your Galaxy then? A drive-by?


Stolen from outside my house. Thief opened my front door with a stick and nicked the keys in my wifeís bag.
Iíve owned four Fords, three have been nicked...
It was recovered near Wembley by the Police, it was a total write off.
Insurance were actually okay about it and paid up quickly.
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GordonBennett
HARRY POTTER AND THE BAVARIAN SHITE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 265

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Thatís right ST, ignore all of us in the trade


Has anyone other than your good self passed negative comment though?

Iím not saying itís in any way a desirable car, but then what SUV ever is?

That engine was fine in the C3, and Dave Leader enjoyed his equivalent 208.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1199

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

marinast wrote:

Stolen from outside my house. Thief opened my front door with a stick and nicked the keys in my wifeís bag.
Iíve owned four Fords, three have been nicked...


London. No wonder hundreds of thousands are leaving.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandie wrote:
marinast wrote:
At least the car is virtually all made in France and not some third world place like Turkey or India...


They're built in Spain, not France. And modern French cars have such a tremendous reputation for quality and reliability.

Still, let's not skim over the take-home point. After years of tyre-kicking even you've came to conclude that Tatuar are impossible to consider due to their levels of reliability. To the extent that a Shitroen is preferrable.


Iíve long said Land Rover products are too unreliable to contemplate owning.
Iím sure things will go wrong with the Shitroen but so far nothing has broke in the 1500 miles Iíve driven it and Iíve got a dealer about half a mile from me if it does shit itself.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1199

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A dealer on your door step can't be knocked. Who are they?
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 950

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

marinast wrote:
Stolen from outside my house. Thief opened my front door with a stick and nicked the keys in my wifeís bag.


Sheefag, remember that morning not so long ago, we woke up with massive hangovers and no recollection of the night before, near the banks of the Thames, totally naked with nothing else but a stick and a handbag?
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
marinast wrote:

Stolen from outside my house. Thief opened my front door with a stick and nicked the keys in my wifeís bag.
Iíve owned four Fords, three have been nicked...


London. No wonder hundreds of thousands are leaving.


Yes, selling up and buying big houses in the north.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

austin-towers wrote:
marinast wrote:
Stolen from outside my house. Thief opened my front door with a stick and nicked the keys in my wifeís bag.


Sheefag, remember that morning not so long ago, we woke up with massive hangovers and no recollection of the night before, near the banks of the Thames, totally naked with nothing else but a stick and a handbag?


Which one of you lost several pints of blood over the drivers seat of that Galaxy? Laughing
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
A dealer on your door step can't be knocked. Who are they?


Bellamys in Lee Green.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1199

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Family/Independent?
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

GordonBennett wrote:
MarkM wrote:
Thatís right ST, ignore all of us in the trade


Has anyone other than your good self passed negative comment though?

Iím not saying itís in any way a desirable car, but then what SUV ever is?

That engine was fine in the C3, and Dave Leader enjoyed his equivalent 208.


Sadly I can only speak from experience not reading reviews.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1199

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We should applaud the phact he's not bought VAG shite.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Family I think. I bought the car from Wilmoths in Southampton which is a larger franchise.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 7:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
We should applaud the phact he's not bought VAG shite.


Friends of mine are awaiting delivery of their new Alhambra, they ordered it four months ago but Seat have long waiting lists for petrol Alhambras.
Thanks to the industry fixation with SUVs the choice of MPVs is limited and with the axing of the S Max and Galaxy by Ford, only going to get even more limited.
I believe Shitroen have stopped production of the five seat SpaceTourer in favour of the C5 Aircross. Problem with the C5 Aircross is the body has too much tumble home near the roof so adults sitting in the back have to crane their heads to the side to fit in it, yes it has three full size independent seats but for taller people itís surprisingly cramped.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2073
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 8:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sandie wrote:
After years of tyre-kicking even you've came to conclude that Tatuar are impossible to consider due to their levels of reliability. To the extent that a Shitroen is preferrable.


Fucking BRUTAL.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 8:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SHITRON LOLZ
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 928

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 8:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkM wrote:
Sadly I can only speak from experience not reading reviews.


YOU HUM IT, I'LL RUN A SPONGE OVER IT!
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 342

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 8:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

marinast wrote:
austin-towers wrote:
marinast wrote:
Stolen from outside my house. Thief opened my front door with a stick and nicked the keys in my wifeís bag.


Sheefag, remember that morning not so long ago, we woke up with massive hangovers and no recollection of the night before, near the banks of the Thames, totally naked with nothing else but a stick and a handbag?


Which one of you lost several pints of blood over the drivers seat of that Galaxy? Laughing


Aye, we had two's up on that fat lass who was on the rags in some auld icecream van I think.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 891

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 8:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Imagine the fun you will have on Bobs drugs stash Sheefag.
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 342

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 8:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You wouldn't want that Galaxy back mate, fuck me, the smell...

Towers, I said, you'll never get a salmon in there, not a whole one like. Never stopped him from trying. It was like the fucking codwars.
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 950

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 9:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Luckily that litre bottle of 5w30 was in the boot.
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MarkM
SPLUTTERING HUTCUNT


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ottertronic wrote:
MarkM wrote:
Sadly I can only speak from experience not reading reviews.


YOU HUM IT, I'LL RUN A SPONGE OVER IT!


Lol
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5ivegearsinreverse
ROBERT JEKYLL & GORDON HYDE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 767
Location: A Town Called Bastard

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 10:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nick Besonderes wrote:
And there was me thinking it might be the FIAT multi-air bits that could prove troublesome.

Many manufacturers have under-specced the cam drive (B** MINI anyone?) and neoprene belts would be easier to change regularly.

All this flimsy shite obviously saves more CO^2s in squirt than the energy requirements of manufacturing a new engine in somebody's universe.

But we are where we are; badge-engineered BMWs everywhere - even Morgan. Might as well buy a B** then.


If not B**, then VAG. Even unto Fords FFS.

The Tatuar Multi-air is by way of Schaeffler, which suggests a packaged design and supply deal. Fiat's deal to license the multi-air IP to Schaeffler sounds worryingly like a repeat of their precipitate sale of their Common Rail development patents to Bosch. I hope they've been cannier this time.

I've yet to try a throttle-less petrol engine I like - they respond very oddly and fail to deliver the efficiency promised on paper in real life.

Weedy chains in the wrong places apart, the Ingenium is probably close the mainstream for current 500cc cylinder module engines. It weighs around 138kg, and has cylinder centres of 93mm - wider than VAG's 88mm and B**'s 91mm.

I'd reckon Bob's new Dynamic Force M20A-FKS is a lot lighter. 80.5 x 97.6 proportions are considered optimum for a 2 litre, albeit a NA petrol one designed for ultimate efficiency rather than extreme power.

The Ingenium's proportions are 83.0 x 92.4. If there was room for another 10.6mm of stroke, the new straight six could be exactly the same size as the 3.4 litre XK, a rather pleasing thought.
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2073
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2019 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Itís posts like that that get this forum a bad name.
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