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5ivegearsinreverse
ROBERT JEKYLL & GORDON HYDE
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 749
Location: A Town Called Bastard
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 Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:34 pm Post subject: GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE |
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The post-Dieter era has just begun, and Daimler think they COULD actually go broke underestimating the taste and intelligence of their customers.
Daimler plans to drop Mercedes X-class pickup amid profit slump
| ANE wrote: | ...only 16,700 units of the X class were sold last year in Europe, Australia and South Africa. The U.S., where demand is mainly for full-size pickups, was ruled out as a market.
Right from the start, the X class was unable to live up to expectations. Its price, starting at 37,294 euros in Germany, was too high. Competition is fierce in its segment, in which VW Amarok and Ford Ranger also compete.
Several recalls also hit sales, among other things because of a footwell light that can come loose and jam under the brake pedal. |
Dieter, to his credit, decided the jumped-up Datsun wasn't even good enough for the Argies:
| ANE wrote: | | In February, former Daimler CEO Dieter Zetsche abandoned plans to build the pickup for South American markets at a Renault-Nissan plant in Argentina. |
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1164
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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| It did different from the bog standard Datsun by having an overtly complex and to my eye, compromised, multi-link suspension under the load bed. |
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT
Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 849
Location: The EPC
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Can't wait until these WANKER TANKERS start bending their chassies like the base Datsuns do. |
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1164
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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| They're fucking huge to manoeuvre. |
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Like Benny. |
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1164
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:43 pm Post subject: |
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| You're thinking of a pig in a passageway. |
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:53 pm Post subject: |
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That reminds me of the scene one night back in the early 80s in Wrexham, my boss at the time owned a nightclub in the town and Cresta Taxis on the Beastmarket.
Driver walks in and says "You've all got to come and see this".
A load of us troop out and down an alley at the side of the cab office, there's a lad energetically shagging a girl up against the wall while she ate a cheeseburger over his shoulder.
Internet dating of course, has ruined this kind of thing for future generations. |
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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Another time in the same taxi office, a woman left her handbag in a car late one night.
The bag was handed to the driver by another fare later that night and he brought it back to the office.
When going through it looking for ID, amongst other possessions was the worlds biggest vibrator. Being a decade or two pre-internet, this caused great excitement and discussion.
Next day, a woman phones up asking if a bag had been found and arranged to come and pick it up. The receptionist spread the rumour that the owner was a former Miss Wales.
Cars were driven at high speed back to the office so everyone could have a glimpse at the beautiful owner of said recreational tool.
Men were gutted when the ugliest fare in Wrexham, known as 'No-Neck' turned up a claimed ownership.
Her mate was known as 'Gun-Sight', due to the enormous wart on the end of her nose.
Stories like these explain a lot about Towers, and why he's like he is. |
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The Rabbi
GERMAN CANDLE
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 455
Location: Bergen-Belsen
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:16 pm Post subject: |
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A truly beautiful picture painted with words.
_________________
CUNTS. |
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1146
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Benny should really be trying to contact these lasses online. |
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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| The smell of that vibrator will live with me forever. |
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1146
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Sheefag wrote: | | The smell of that vibrator will live with me forever. |
Like freshly cut grass. |
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5ivegearsinreverse
ROBERT JEKYLL & GORDON HYDE
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 749
Location: A Town Called Bastard
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Lord Sward wrote: | | It did different from the bog standard Datsun by having an overtly complex and to my eye, compromised, multi-link suspension under the load bed. |
What's extraordinary is how much effort Daimler put in to bring the Navara up to a semblance of Mercedes standards - interior, engines, drivetrain, suspension, sheet metal changes.
They might as well have done what VAG did with the Amarok, and started from scratch, except that they would felt they had to make a proper, Merc, and the costs and timescale would have rocketed.
Probably as well they didn't, since the expensively disguised Datsun was managing annual worldwide sales easily bettered by the White Hen's in three slow months in Italy alone. |
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 911
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Funnily enough, I was talking to DUDLEY SUTTON the other day, and he said EXACTLY that. |
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:38 pm Post subject: |
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| Well he would, wouldn't he? |
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM
Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2001
Location: Scottish Riviera
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:42 pm Post subject: |
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| 5ivegearsinreverse wrote: | | Lord Sward wrote: | | It did different from the bog standard Datsun by having an overtly complex and to my eye, compromised, multi-link suspension under the load bed. |
What's extraordinary is how much effort Daimler put in to bring the Navara up to a semblance of Mercedes standards - interior, engines, drivetrain, suspension, sheet metal changes. They might as well have done what VAG did with the Amarok, and started from scratch, except that they would felt they had to make a proper, Merc, and the costs and timescale would have rocketed. Probably as well they didn't, since the expensively disguised Datsun was managing annual worldwide sales easily bettered by the White Hen's in three slow months in Italy alone. |
This is the kind of dialogue that gets this forum a bad name. |
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5ivegearsinreverse
ROBERT JEKYLL & GORDON HYDE
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 749
Location: A Town Called Bastard
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Sheefag wrote: | | Well he would, wouldn't he? |
Fuck that. What we all want are more vignettes from the life of a young Punjabi man making a new life in North Wales in the 1980s.
You might consider a left-wing slant and the introduction of transgender characters for full PaedBC potential. |
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM
Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2001
Location: Scottish Riviera
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:49 pm Post subject: |
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| 5ivegearsinreverse wrote: | | You might consider a left-wing slant and the introduction of transgender characters for full PaedBC potential. |
Be sure to include “crashing out” and “climate emergency”, along with a healthy dose of “GAS THE JEWS”. |
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Shergar
BILLERICAY THICKIE
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 288
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| Posted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 11:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Sheefag wrote: | | The smell of that vibrator will live with me forever. |
Quite possibly because you keep it under the counter lest 4 school kids attempt to come in the shop at once.
_________________
He rode me and left me for dead. |
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 326
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 12:35 am Post subject: |
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| 5ivegearsinreverse wrote: | | Sheefag wrote: | | Well he would, wouldn't he? |
Fuck that. What we all want are more vignettes from the life of a young Punjabi man making a new life in North Wales in the 1980s.
You might consider a left-wing slant and the introduction of transgender characters for full PaedBC potential. |
Strangely enough, such diversity was in fact well catered for locally at the time, and surprisingly tolerated without violence, which was the default local answer to most of life's challenges.
Not for small reason was Wrexham famed far and wide at the time as 'a town full of murderers'.
A smashing bloke, Paul Belton, known to one and all as 'Paul The Poof' and the campest bloke I've ever met, ran the Red Lion on the High Street with a full face of makeup for donkeys years without a moments bother.
He ran a chip shop after that successfully and now runs The Kings Head in Bwlchgwyn along with Eddie Haftavani, 'Eddie The Iranian'.
Eddie rocked up in Wrexham, an obvious choice, when the Shah was deposed and ended up as the cook in 'Peppers' a nightclub on Bridge Street.
A generous man known for his foul temper and very well developed hair trigger, we used to get him to kick off theatrically by just within earshot, calling him a 'Shit Marsh Arab' and also phrases such as 'No Wonder They're Always Fighting In The Middle East.
I learnt about knife throwing from Eddie, very fortunately, the cunt couldn't throw straight when he was angry.
Eddie went on to teach all of the staff to swear fluently in both Farsi and Armenian.
This backfired very badly when his Mum and Dad managed against all odds to get a visa to visit and they wanted to meet all of these 'lovely friends' that he'd written home about.
We were all terribly eager to try out our new linguistic skills and the opportunities to utilise two of the worlds most beautiful languages, didn't exactly come thick and fast in that corner of North East Wales.
There was no second visit.
There was an enormous, 6'8" trans.... er bloke... woman ... whatever, an ex copper who's name I never knew but was referred to and known as, HeShe.
There was also 'Big Anne', who worked the door of 'Minsky's/The Coal 'Ole' in Abbott Street.
A very burly type of indeterminate sex, she could batter whole groups of men and it was an open secret in the town that her ample tits were tattooed with 'Mild' and 'Bitter'.
I do hope that all of this contributes in some small ways towards the difficult decisions being made by our friends in Stuttgart. |
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 866
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 12:51 am Post subject: |
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| It’s a perfect counterpoint. |
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Derek
SAUCEBOX
Joined: 10 Nov 2018
Posts: 357
Location: Upside down
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 1:14 am Post subject: |
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| Delightful stuff. |
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Seamaster
PEDDLING OPTIMISM
Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2001
Location: Scottish Riviera
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 6:07 am Post subject: |
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| Sheef — and I ask this with utter sincerity — have you considered submitting a script to Top Gear? |
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Derek
SAUCEBOX
Joined: 10 Nov 2018
Posts: 357
Location: Upside down
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:35 am Post subject: |
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| I was under the impression that Daimler were POUNDING their Bavarian rivals, so if they're warning of a profit slump, what the hell is going on with the others? Or is there something more we don't know about? It just doesn't make sense - particularly since that ute was only launched two years ago. |
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 866
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:48 am Post subject: |
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Chinese sales have seriously affected sales for all European ‘premium’ brands.
Given Chinese debt has just passed 300% GDP, how much longer can these brands rely on vast sales there? |
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chucky
ES YOUR U WANT A POPULARITY CAR NTEST
Joined: 12 Nov 2018
Posts: 316
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:57 am Post subject: |
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| Sheefag wrote: |
Eddie rocked up in Wrexham, an obvious choice, when the Shah was deposed and ended up as the cook in 'Peppers' a nightclub on Bridge Street. |
I remember Peppers - used to go there when I was on Ugandan maneuvres with a girl from Summerhill. |
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Nick Besonderes
Modern Gentleman
Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 242
Location: Here
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 11:34 am Post subject: |
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| This is the most entertaining tale of Arabian Nights and the dark days of legislation-induced industrymageddon. |
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Giles
DOING IT AGAIN FOR FUN AND PROFIT
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 462
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 1:54 pm Post subject: |
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| I can't be the only one masturbating furiously to this thread. |
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP
Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1146
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Giles wrote: | | I can't be the only one masturbating furiously to this thread. |
Was that your sister with the burger? |
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC
Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1381
Location: Bobniston
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| Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Made me laugh, should be in the blog section! |
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