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GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE
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5ivegearsinreverse
ROBERT JEKYLL & GORDON HYDE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1157
Location: A Town Called Bastard

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:34 pm    Post subject: GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE Reply with quote

The post-Dieter era has just begun, and Daimler think they COULD actually go broke underestimating the taste and intelligence of their customers.

Daimler plans to drop Mercedes X-class pickup amid profit slump

ANE wrote:
...only 16,700 units of the X class were sold last year in Europe, Australia and South Africa. The U.S., where demand is mainly for full-size pickups, was ruled out as a market.

Right from the start, the X class was unable to live up to expectations. Its price, starting at 37,294 euros in Germany, was too high. Competition is fierce in its segment, in which VW Amarok and Ford Ranger also compete.

Several recalls also hit sales, among other things because of a footwell light that can come loose and jam under the brake pedal.


Dieter, to his credit, decided the jumped-up Datsun wasn't even good enough for the Argies:

ANE wrote:
In February, former Daimler CEO Dieter Zetsche abandoned plans to build the pickup for South American markets at a Renault-Nissan plant in Argentina.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1569

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It did different from the bog standard Datsun by having an overtly complex and to my eye, compromised, multi-link suspension under the load bed.
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Sandie
FLOPPY-TROUSERED BUCKFAST-SWILLING CUNT


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 1153
Location: The EPC

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can't wait until these WANKER TANKERS start bending their chassies like the base Datsuns do.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1569

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They're fucking huge to manoeuvre.
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 360

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Like Benny.
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Lord Sward
SWARDUS ET PKLESS


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1569

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're thinking of a pig in a passageway.
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 6:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That reminds me of the scene one night back in the early 80s in Wrexham, my boss at the time owned a nightclub in the town and Cresta Taxis on the Beastmarket.

Driver walks in and says "You've all got to come and see this".

A load of us troop out and down an alley at the side of the cab office, there's a lad energetically shagging a girl up against the wall while she ate a cheeseburger over his shoulder.

Internet dating of course, has ruined this kind of thing for future generations.
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 360

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 7:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another time in the same taxi office, a woman left her handbag in a car late one night.
The bag was handed to the driver by another fare later that night and he brought it back to the office.

When going through it looking for ID, amongst other possessions was the worlds biggest vibrator. Being a decade or two pre-internet, this caused great excitement and discussion.

Next day, a woman phones up asking if a bag had been found and arranged to come and pick it up. The receptionist spread the rumour that the owner was a former Miss Wales.

Cars were driven at high speed back to the office so everyone could have a glimpse at the beautiful owner of said recreational tool.

Men were gutted when the ugliest fare in Wrexham, known as 'No-Neck' turned up a claimed ownership.

Her mate was known as 'Gun-Sight', due to the enormous wart on the end of her nose.

Stories like these explain a lot about Towers, and why he's like he is.
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The Rabbi
CORBYN CANDLE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
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Location: Bergen-Belsen

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A truly beautiful picture painted with words.
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Benny should really be trying to contact these lasses online.
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The smell of that vibrator will live with me forever.
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1483

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 8:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sheefag wrote:
The smell of that vibrator will live with me forever.

Like freshly cut grass.
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5ivegearsinreverse
ROBERT JEKYLL & GORDON HYDE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1157
Location: A Town Called Bastard

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lord Sward wrote:
It did different from the bog standard Datsun by having an overtly complex and to my eye, compromised, multi-link suspension under the load bed.


What's extraordinary is how much effort Daimler put in to bring the Navara up to a semblance of Mercedes standards - interior, engines, drivetrain, suspension, sheet metal changes.

They might as well have done what VAG did with the Amarok, and started from scratch, except that they would felt they had to make a proper, Merc, and the costs and timescale would have rocketed.

Probably as well they didn't, since the expensively disguised Datsun was managing annual worldwide sales easily bettered by the White Hen's in three slow months in Italy alone.
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1127

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Funnily enough, I was talking to DUDLEY SUTTON the other day, and he said EXACTLY that.
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well he would, wouldn't he?
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2718
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

5ivegearsinreverse wrote:
Lord Sward wrote:
It did different from the bog standard Datsun by having an overtly complex and to my eye, compromised, multi-link suspension under the load bed.


What's extraordinary is how much effort Daimler put in to bring the Navara up to a semblance of Mercedes standards - interior, engines, drivetrain, suspension, sheet metal changes. They might as well have done what VAG did with the Amarok, and started from scratch, except that they would felt they had to make a proper, Merc, and the costs and timescale would have rocketed. Probably as well they didn't, since the expensively disguised Datsun was managing annual worldwide sales easily bettered by the White Hen's in three slow months in Italy alone.


This is the kind of dialogue that gets this forum a bad name.
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5ivegearsinreverse
ROBERT JEKYLL & GORDON HYDE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1157
Location: A Town Called Bastard

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sheefag wrote:
Well he would, wouldn't he?


Fuck that. What we all want are more vignettes from the life of a young Punjabi man making a new life in North Wales in the 1980s.

You might consider a left-wing slant and the introduction of transgender characters for full PaedBC potential.
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2718
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 10:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

5ivegearsinreverse wrote:
You might consider a left-wing slant and the introduction of transgender characters for full PaedBC potential.


Be sure to include “crashing out” and “climate emergency”, along with a healthy dose of “GAS THE JEWS”.
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Shergar
THE DAYS OF PEARLY SPASTIC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 406

PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2019 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sheefag wrote:
The smell of that vibrator will live with me forever.


Quite possibly because you keep it under the counter lest 4 school kids attempt to come in the shop at once.
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 12:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

5ivegearsinreverse wrote:
Sheefag wrote:
Well he would, wouldn't he?


Fuck that. What we all want are more vignettes from the life of a young Punjabi man making a new life in North Wales in the 1980s.

You might consider a left-wing slant and the introduction of transgender characters for full PaedBC potential.


Strangely enough, such diversity was in fact well catered for locally at the time, and surprisingly tolerated without violence, which was the default local answer to most of life's challenges.
Not for small reason was Wrexham famed far and wide at the time as 'a town full of murderers'.

A smashing bloke, Paul Belton, known to one and all as 'Paul The Poof' and the campest bloke I've ever met, ran the Red Lion on the High Street with a full face of makeup for donkeys years without a moments bother.
He ran a chip shop after that successfully and now runs The Kings Head in Bwlchgwyn along with Eddie Haftavani, 'Eddie The Iranian'.

Eddie rocked up in Wrexham, an obvious choice, when the Shah was deposed and ended up as the cook in 'Peppers' a nightclub on Bridge Street.

A generous man known for his foul temper and very well developed hair trigger, we used to get him to kick off theatrically by just within earshot, calling him a 'Shit Marsh Arab' and also phrases such as 'No Wonder They're Always Fighting In The Middle East.
I learnt about knife throwing from Eddie, very fortunately, the cunt couldn't throw straight when he was angry.

Eddie went on to teach all of the staff to swear fluently in both Farsi and Armenian.

This backfired very badly when his Mum and Dad managed against all odds to get a visa to visit and they wanted to meet all of these 'lovely friends' that he'd written home about.
We were all terribly eager to try out our new linguistic skills and the opportunities to utilise two of the worlds most beautiful languages, didn't exactly come thick and fast in that corner of North East Wales.

There was no second visit.

There was an enormous, 6'8" trans.... er bloke... woman ... whatever, an ex copper who's name I never knew but was referred to and known as, HeShe.

There was also 'Big Anne', who worked the door of 'Minsky's/The Coal 'Ole' in Abbott Street.
A very burly type of indeterminate sex, she could batter whole groups of men and it was an open secret in the town that her ample tits were tattooed with 'Mild' and 'Bitter'.

I do hope that all of this contributes in some small ways towards the difficult decisions being made by our friends in Stuttgart.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1181

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 12:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It’s a perfect counterpoint.
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Derek
SAUCEBOX


Joined: 10 Nov 2018
Posts: 512
Location: Upside down

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 1:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Delightful stuff.
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Seamaster
GLENDA GLITTER


Joined: 11 Nov 2018
Posts: 2718
Location: Scottish Riviera

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 6:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sheef — and I ask this with utter sincerity — have you considered submitting a script to Slope Gear?
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Derek
SAUCEBOX


Joined: 10 Nov 2018
Posts: 512
Location: Upside down

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was under the impression that Daimler were POUNDING their Bavarian rivals, so if they're warning of a profit slump, what the hell is going on with the others? Or is there something more we don't know about? It just doesn't make sense - particularly since that ute was only launched two years ago.
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marinast
1.2 C4 PICASSO


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1181

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chinese sales have seriously affected sales for all European ‘premium’ brands.
Given Chinese debt has just passed 300% GDP, how much longer can these brands rely on vast sales there?
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chucky
ES YOUR U WANT A POPULARITY CAR NTEST


Joined: 12 Nov 2018
Posts: 409

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 9:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sheefag wrote:


Eddie rocked up in Wrexham, an obvious choice, when the Shah was deposed and ended up as the cook in 'Peppers' a nightclub on Bridge Street.


I remember Peppers - used to go there when I was on Ugandan maneuvres with a girl from Summerhill.
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Nick Besonderes
Modern Gentleman


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 359
Location: Here

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 11:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is the most entertaining tale of Arabian Nights and the dark days of legislation-induced industrymageddon.
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Giles
SUB RANDLE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 651

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't be the only one masturbating furiously to this thread.
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1483

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 1:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Giles wrote:
I can't be the only one masturbating furiously to this thread.

Was that your sister with the burger?
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620bob
HORMONAL REMAINIAC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
Posts: 1642
Location: Bobniston

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Made me laugh, should be in the blog section!
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Giles
SUB RANDLE


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 651

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 2:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barry wrote:
Giles wrote:
I can't be the only one masturbating furiously to this thread.

Was that your sister with the burger?


Must have been the night she came home with your dad's number scrawled on her hand.
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Barry
THE IRISH SPACKSTOP


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1483

PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 2:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Giles wrote:
Barry wrote:
Giles wrote:
I can't be the only one masturbating furiously to this thread.

Was that your sister with the burger?


Must have been the night she came home with your dad's number scrawled on her hand.

.....I think you've ZINGED yourself there Giles
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Sheefag
MACDROITWICH SPECIAL FORCES


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 5:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

chucky wrote:
Sheefag wrote:


Eddie rocked up in Wrexham, an obvious choice, when the Shah was deposed and ended up as the cook in 'Peppers' a nightclub on Bridge Street.


I remember Peppers - used to go there when I was on Ugandan maneuvres with a girl from Summerhill.


What year was that?
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chucky
ES YOUR U WANT A POPULARITY CAR NTEST


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm pretty sure it was '88. Wasn't some of the seating in there in a vague sort of American alcove stylee?
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Sheefag
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was fixed seating downstairs.
I was working in 'The Buttermarket' in Shrewsbury '86/89.

We re-fitted 'Peppers' in '88, my gaffer at the time tried to get me to go back there but I was living quite happily in Shrewsbury so I did the opening night and first month before recruiting a replacement.

My gaffer then cut a deal on the old nightclub over the icerink in Deeside and became quite insistent that not only should design/install the light and sound, but move down there and run it.

I suggested an imminent Fat One interface and fucked off to London.
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austin-towers
PLASTIC WELSH SPASTIC


Joined: 07 Nov 2018
Posts: 1127

PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sheefag wrote:
the old nightclub over the icerink in Deeside


STYLES? Proper shit pit.
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Sheefag
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep, that was the name he gave it. There was a pub he opened next door as well.

I had fuck all to do with either.

Dieter Zetsche needs to read this thread and think on.
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chucky
ES YOUR U WANT A POPULARITY CAR NTEST


Joined: 12 Nov 2018
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 8:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No idea what it's called but I remember it as those benches that curve round. I just remember sitting on one of them in a bit of a dark spot in the place indulging in a spot of Captain Birdseye with a young lady.

Never went to the club above the rink in Deeside - what was the name of the Bass pub on the end of the shops not far from the Custom House? That place could get a bit tasty on a Friday night - same for the Cattlemarket in Shrewsbury if the young farmers were in town.
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Shergar
THE DAYS OF PEARLY SPASTIC


Joined: 08 Nov 2018
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

FISH FINGERS CHUCKY YOU BEAST Laughing
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Ottertronic
WORSE THAN HITLER


Joined: 09 Nov 2018
Posts: 1214

PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shergar wrote:
FISH FINGERS CHUCKY YOU BEAST Laughing


I think he means growing a vast beard and hanging around other people's kids.
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